Les meilleures blagues du web !

[Igor]

Quelle annonce

Pinture que jé refai

http://www.leboncoin.fr/voitures/439047579.htm?ca=12_s

[alainp]

Quelle annonce

Pinture que jé refai

http://www.leboncoin.fr/voitures/439047579.htm?ca=12_s

[Yvan]

C'est un fake, pas possible !

[blake_ch]

[Avgas]

Au moins il a écrit correctment E46...

[Igor]

Je pense que Djal s'en est inspiré

[Yvan]

[pierre]

Désolé de poster ça en anglais, mais certaines en valent vraiment la peine:



These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people
actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published
by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these
exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that
morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you
forgot?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me?
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gett'in laid!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get
a new attorney?
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to wo rk.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on
dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you
like to rephrase that?
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you
go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing
an autopsy on him!
______________________________________

And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check
for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when
you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive,
nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law

[Pav]

____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________


ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you
go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________

Mon sens de l'humour est tres sale ces jours-ci, c'est ces deux la qui m'ont fait rire le plus.

[_nicolas]

Elles sont excellentes !

Sent from my iPad 3 using Tapatalk HD

[Avgas]

La vanne qui courrait dans Santiago cet après-midi: avec un Pape Argentin, Diego Maradona sera sanctifié en 2 temps 3 mouvements...

[blake_ch]

Ahah génial :

[Yvan]

[blake_ch]

Et faut rajouter le Pony Mixer afin de customizer son Poney : http://www.youtube.com/user/three/theponymixer

[OSAKA 6]